Insomnia
by 123irish
Summary: Simply enough, Harry has insomnia and somehow wins the second war


**AN:** This was written for TheNextFolchart's "Midnight Challenge" and was written 1/22/2015 between 12:30a and 3:30a, I hope you all enjoy. Please read and review, it keeps me happy and a happy Matt is a …. Please just read and review!

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It had been six days since Harry had slept and three since they'd gone on "Potter Watch". Hermione was on her usual shift of Midnight to eight am, or as her fellow Gryff's called it "Potters Pointless Ponderings"

On the second night of his insomnia Harry had begun appearing in the dorms of all four houses asking the students, male and female alike, strange and bizarre questions, "If two wrongs don't make a right why does three lefts, and if a tree falls in the woods is the pope really Jewish", and other odd questions.

While this worried Hermione, it was nothing compared to the last fifteen minutes when he'd started giggling like Luna Lovegood on a pudding high.

She grabbed him by the front of his robes and shaking him slightly pulled him close and whispered, "Harry, what's happening? Please snap out of this, you're scaring me".

"Shush Mione", a maniacal grin on Harry's face and a gleam in his eye that would have had most sane people packing their bags and catching the next flight out of Britain. "Let's dance, Tommy wants to sing and shake his hips, I think we should dance"!

Harry collected Hermione in his arms and began to dance around the (thankfully empty) common room. Harry could see Tom Marvolo Riddle standing in front of the entrance of the common room. He was dressed from head to toe as a Las Vegas Elvis Impersonator, right down to the sequined one-piece jumpsuit with matching cape and the mutton chop sideburns with gold sunglasses. He was singing "Love Me Tender", he looked better than Sirius Black as Stubby Boardman.

Unknown to Harry (or anyone else for that matter) several hundred miles away, in the old Riddle Manor House, Lord Voldemort had just soiled himself for the third time in the last six days.

He had no idea why, but wanted to dress up as Elvis and sing the man's songs because they made him "Happy". He was certain the Potter brat was behind this because six days ago the link he shared with Harry had suddenly flared open and nothing he could do would close it.

In his madness he reasoned that Harry must be somehow using his Dark Mark to inflict this "illness" upon him. His muddled thought was to send a curse, the AK, through it and sever and hopefully finally kill the Potter spawn.

Sure he might lose a few Death Eaters as well and might even end up killing himself too, but he could always recruit more people and wasn't that the reason he had created his "Soul Anchors"

In Tom's delusional state he forgot that his Dark Mark was connected to all parts of his soul and as he sang the final notes to "Jail House Rock" he cast the Ak upon his master Dark Mark.

As Harry belted out "Jail House Rock" in a duet with Tom to a still worried but now highly bemused Hermione Granger he watched through his link as not only did Lord Moldyshorts manage to kill every one of his servants, he also wasted his remaining "Soul Anchors" as well. His magically constructed body simply crumbled to dust with nothing to hold it together any longer and Death finally collected Tom for his eternal stay in Hell.

The snake exploded just as it was about to catch a rabbit in the graveyard, a strange locket at #12 Grimmauld Place, that no one could open, turned to slag taking Kreature (who was smiling) with it. Deep in a vault, in the most secure bank in the world, Fiend Fire swept through destroying a small cup once owned by Helga Hufflepuff.

Back in Hogwarts twin screams were heard, one on the seventh floor that could never be explained and one in the Gryffindor Common Room that woke every student in the tower and brought all the teachers and Head Master at a dead run.

Hermione was crying as the once insomniac Harry Potter now lay on the floor, his head cradled in her lap as black ooze dripped from his now fading Famous Lightning Bolt Scar.

Harry's emerald green eyes shot open and he reached up and wiped a tear from Hermione's cheek before pulling her head down even with his and smiling crookedly said, "Elvis has left the building", and gave her a toe curling kiss and proceeded to seriously snog her for the next minute and a half until the teachers arrived.

All Harry said before dropping off to sleep was that he loved Hermione and the Lord Snakeface truly dead this time.

Fred and George smiled and shook their heads; they considered the You-No-Doze Potion a complete success. All it took was the mixing of 36 cups of world's strongest coffee, Death Wish Coffee, with 2 Pepper-Up Potions, 4 cans of Red Bull and a two 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew, Harry slept for a week and a half.


End file.
